Monday, April 27

oink oink oink

Alright! Piggie vacation! The Mexican health authority has just canceled ALL classes throughout the ENTIRE country until the 6th of May. Some think that it's a Mexican conspiracy to keep voters in their homes and away from the polls. Right now they're having federal elections. Sometimes an overreaction can work in my favor! Yeah, yeah, better safe than sorry. (and why don't we err on the side of caution every flu season? I mean, 64,000 Americans DIE every year from the yearly flu mutation.)

Thursday, April 16

Mazunte

I just got back from Mazunte, an isolated somewhat virgin beach in southern Oaxaca. It's surrounded by actual virgin beaches, a sight hard to wrap my head around for a guy coming from a touristy beach city. Imagine: Miles of nothing but sand, waves, and bushes. The reason for the lack of development is that it's a protected natural reserve. In the spring, big mother honkin' sea turtles scrape their bellies up the shore, dig a trench that'd put the western front to shame, and poop out a few dozen eggs. We weren't lucky enough this time, but this same time 2 years ago we went to Mazunte and had to move our tables out of the way of one of these big dumb majestic animals. Discovery Channel spit, up close. Picures can be seen here.

Bus wreck

Oh yeah, so on my way back from getting bent over by the Oaxacan immigration gang-bang, the bus got into a semi-head-on collision with, uh, a semi. While coming out of a turn in the heights and wilderness of the mountains a sketchy, rusty 1960's bobtail SMASHED into the front left corner of our bus. The dude stumbled out in a drunken haze. All the passengers took note of this in alarm, "Ay guey! Ese guey anda pedo!" (Aw damn! this fuckin' dude is fucked up!). The majority of us filed out of the bus to check out the wreckage. One passenger got in the drunk's face and starting ranting - yelling - about how there are women and children in the bus, etc., etc., until he popped him in the face. The drunk was unfazed. Without cellphone coverage, some passengers began to get nervous and opted to hitch hike their way out of the mountains. The federal police came by and told us that they'd advise the bus company that we were stranded and would send for another car to take away the drunk. Confidant that a new bus would come, I and 5 or so others stayed behind. Night fell and I waited for us to get smashed to bits by a speeding oncoming car under the pitch black new moon. To my dismay, our replacement bus was the departure from Oaxaca City for Tuxtepec that followed ours. It was full so we had to stand for 4 hours or so until we arrived. Also, the cop car meant to take away the drunk never came. At first the other guys asked him to come along with us and we'd take him to the police station ourselves. He wasn't havin' it. In the end they each got an appendage and carried his squirming mountain bus smashin' ass onto the bus. While en route we came upon the cop car meant to take him away. Strangely he was eager to change vehicles. The fat federal cop never even got out of his car and the drunk hopped right in back.